Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The Fun People I Love

So I hope enough suspense has been built up from last week to really get you excited about this weeks post.  If not... thanks.  I love you too.  Regardless, as I said las week, my ward (Paraiso) is a little... special.  Lots of unique members.  So I thought that this week I would mention a few of them.  Names have been changes for my own enjoyment of making up new ones.

Hermana Science Fiction

This darling hermana has many ideas, strange ideas about the gospel.  What will happen in the Second Coming and how we will look after resurrected.  When she was younger she had to have surgery and she firmly believes that during the surgery they inserted a chip that monitors her.  Why?  Because she knows things... and they need to watch her to make sure she doesnt spill the beans about their secrets.  Now how does she know there is a chip inside of her?  She can feel and hear electricity.  Her house is surrounded by intenas... watching her, making her body hurt with all the electricity.  She is quite the character.  Her hearing isnt very good, which I now realize how ironic it is considering how she claims to hear electricity.  Regardless, due to her bad hearing, we always have to yell at her to make her understand.  It is quite a strange experiance yelling a prayer in a horribly obvious American accent.  But she yells right back at us, claiming that she still cant hear.  She also refuses to believe that I understand spanish.  Entonces, because she knows a decent amount of english, she will talk to my companion first in spanish, and then reexplain everything in english to me... es un poco frustrating.  Oh, and she likes to call me Hermana Barbie....... I dont even understand...

Hermano Highway

Is a recent convert and absolutely adores the sister missionaries.  Every time we go visit, as soon as we finish the closing prayer we migrate to the kitchen for hot chocolate and cake, doughnuts, cookies, pizza, something!  And when we leave he stuffs a grocery bag full of more goodies.  Once he gave us a literal bread basket.  No joke, the basket was made out of bread and filled with cookies.  It was heaven... and horrible temptation to have in our house.  He is also quite the gentleman.  About 60 or so years old, he is very worried about our welfare.  He always insists on walking us back to our apartment if its close to 8 o'clock y cosas así.  Since we have to have another woman with us every time we go to teach him, we always bring Hermana Soap.  We are secretly hoping that through our lessons they can have a charming little courtship.  Honestly, they are perfect for each other.  Hey, as missionaries we cant date... but they never said that we couldnt play matchmaker.  After all, our goal as missionaries is to put people on the path of the temple right?....matrimony included.  They only downside to visiting Hermano Highway is that he talks 90 miles per hour and hardly opens his mouth.  I never have any hope of understanding what he says.  Perhaps, after my mission, and several more years of studying Spanish, I will be able to return and have an actual conversation with him.

Well, no time left to mention the many other ..unique.. members of the ward.  But let me tell you, despite their qwirks, they feed us well.  Everyday we have lunch with a member and portions are crazy here!  I have no hope to loose weight.  In fact, Im afraid Im going to blow up here.  Not only are portions huge, but if you dont eat everything they give you they get offended.  You have to lick the plate clean.  No crumbs
, no sauce, nada.  And the same goes for drinks.  And when we arent eating with them, they are just handing us food.  We hardly ever have to actually buy food.  Members keep sending us off with more and more and more.... Im starting to seriously consider getting a tapeworm.  Im going to need it.
Tijuana - My Home Town Now


  1. I can just see that photograph of Tijuana as a gorgeous Eden Painting in two years' time. Keep up the fabulous job of describing your ward members. You will have a book of treasures to remind you of the wonderful people in this part of God's Garden. As for the food supply....you are so lucky. Love you!

  2. Hermana Science Fiction sounds like my kind of lady!